I was terrified. I did it anyway.
Here’s what happened...
Hey there 🥰
At the start of the year a challenging opportunity came up, something firmly outside my comfort zone, and I’ve been doing some thinking about the narratives and thought-processes around it. In particular, I’ve been reflecting on fear; how it shows up unannounced in our lives, how much space it can take up in our minds, and how it can hold us back from fulfilling our full potential in this lifetime.
This was a feeling I experienced firsthand when my husband Ali asked me to run a live session at the Productivity Spark Summit a few weeks ago. The thought of speaking live in front of thousands of people? Seriously intimidating. Spooky scary stuff. 👻 My mind was filled with doubts—what if I messed up, what if people didn’t find it valuable, what if I just wasn’t good enough? And most of all, what if there was accidental spinach in my teeth?! 🥦
But, as you can probably tell from this Letter so far, I decided to feel the fear, and do it anyway.
So I ran a live workshop to an audience of 19,000 people (the biggest live audience I’ve ever spoken to!) about designing your dream life and creating a vision board.
And in the process, I noticed something interesting. As the live session started, the fear that once felt like a constant (pretty unwelcome) companion started to transmute into excitement and flow state. After the session finished, I noticed something new had taken up residence in the space that fear once occupied; a newfound sense of fulfilment and confidence. And then reading the incredibly positive feedback - thousands of messages of thanks, and people saying it was powerful and life-changing - was so emotional for me, especially as I realised that this workshop was almost something that I had said no to doing out of self-doubt. It was a powerful reinforcement that every time we push through fear, we expand our mental landscape and make room for growth and new possibilities for both ourselves and others.
Here’s a cute analogy I’ve been thinking about since the session. It’s almost like at the edges of our mental space we have piles of debris and junk and clutter. Some of it is relatively easy to clear, and can be unlocked by simple mindset shifts. But some of it is more “sticky” - maybe because it is actively frightening or intimidating or uncomfortable in some way - and so it easily becomes the kind of clutter that piles up until we feel paralysed.
I’ve decided to nickname this sticky kind of mental junk “fear-clutter”—and these doubts form mental and emotional barriers to us going forth and actually just doing things that we want to, ultimately limiting our freedom and flexibility.
But every time we feel the fear and do it anyway, we face some of this fear-clutter head on, and we start to painstakingly clear it out piece-by-piece… creating agile mental space where there was once impassable debris.
The result: we become more mentally “free”. Our comfort zone has expanded, and our capacity to do things without being held back by fear has expanded, too.
Susan Jeffers, in her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, presents five truths about fear that really resonated with me and helped me to develop my fear-facing mental muscle, so I wanted to share them with you here:
Fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.
The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it.
Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I’m on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.
At the heart of every fear, Jeffers explains, is the underlying belief that “I can’t handle it.” This is why we hesitate, procrastinate, or avoid stepping outside our comfort zones. But the good news is, once we recognise this narrative, we can actively choose to transform it into “I can handle it” and trust that we can handle the opportunity coming our way.
Here are some of my favourite strategies for this which I’ve been experimenting with and enjoying:
Remember that the only difference between fear and excitement is a smile. Physiologically, fear and excitement are actually very similar, and I’ve found that transforming fear into excitement is easier that trying to wholesale neutralise the feeling. Maybe try finding the exciting angle of this opportunity, opening up your body language, taking a deep belly breath—and maybe even cracking a smile. 😁
Reframing with a Growth Mindset. Instead of seeing challenges as threats, viewing them as opportunities for growth. Meaningful growth only happens outside our comfort zone, so every uncomfortable experience is a gift. Embrace this deliberate discomfort. 🌱
Refer to your Bank of Evidence. When feeling fearful, referring to a mental bank of all the times you’ve faced fear in the past and handled it. 💪
Affirmations. Reminding yourself that “I can handle it,” “I have dealt with challenges before,” or “I will figure this out.” ⚡️
Requesting encouragement and emotional support from a friend, family member or partner. 🤗
When we avoid fear, it piles up, limiting our freedom and keeping us stuck in the same small space. But when we challenge it and take another small step towards clearing our fears, we gradually create a wider clearing—a space where we feel confident, capable, and free to pursue what we truly want.
✍️ This week’s journalling prompts:
🌟 What is something outside your comfort zone that you want to do but have been avoiding? What might be the doubt or ‘fear-clutter’ that has been holding you back? What is one small step you can take today towards breaking through it?
🌟 Think of three times in the past where you proved to yourself that you could handle a challenge that you were previously intimidated by. How can you use this ‘Bank of Evidence’ to rise to future opportunities?
I’d love to hear what fears you’re working on pushing through this week, or about times that you felt the fear but did it anyway! Please feel free to leave a comment down below.
So over the years I’ve learned that it’s not about eliminating fear entirely, but rather showing ourselves over and over again that we can, in fact, handle it.
And slowly but surely, each time we face our fears, we prove to ourselves that we are stronger, braver and more capable than we once might’ve thought. ✨
Next week I’ll write to you about the confidence-competence loop and how we can leverage it to develop unshakable self-belief... and with it, I’ll share a related personal story from a few years ago. 🤭 I’ll see you there! ⚡️
In the meantime, have a wonderful week! And wishing you a joyful Lunar New Year if you’re celebrating. 🧧
With Love,
Izzy 🤗 xx
This is something I needed, Thank you ♥️