who do you think you are?
and why that's exactly the question you need to ask yourself
Hey there ❤️
“Who do you think you are?”
This question haunted me for years. Not in the way someone might ask it with genuine warm curiosity, but in the accusatory tone my inner critic loved to use whenever I dared to do something more or move towards an identity I hadn’t yet fully mastered. It went a bit like this:
‘Want to call yourself a YouTuber? Who do you think you are? You’ve only got a few thousand subscribers.’
‘Think you’re an entrepreneur? Who do you think you are? Your “business” is built around content creation, that hardly counts.’
My mind would forecast what judgements others might make about me, imagining what my haters would think or say if I stepped into these identities. But what I learned the hard way is that these extrapolated judgements hurt me more than they helped, and instead of protecting me they often kept me playing small instead.
For so much of my life, I felt I needed somebody else to validate who I am before I could own it. A certificate. A milestone. A plaque in the post. Some external stamp of approval that gave me permission to be the thing I was already actively doing.
With YouTube, it was literally on the day my channel hit 100,000 subscribers and I had my silver play button plaque coming in the post that I thought, “Okay, well I guess I get to call myself a YouTuber now since I have a silver plaque.”
Before that moment, I was ‘just’ someone who made YouTube videos, spending hours researching, planning, filming and editing alongside my Cambridge medical school studies and then full-time job as a doctor; essentially doing the things a YouTuber does… but I still didn’t allow myself to own the identity.
Our actions follow our identity. Who we believe we are, who we believe we’re becoming, is an intrinsic and essential part of shaping our behaviour, and therefore our outcomes in life. If I don’t internally believe I’m a YouTuber, I won’t truly act like one. The identity comes first, then the actions follow.
Looking back, I can see how much this identity-dissonance held me back. My posting schedule was sporadic at best. I didn’t fully commit because I didn’t dare allow my identity to align with my desired actions. I was hedging.
But here’s what I’ve realised. The question, “Who do you think you are?” is actually exactly the question we need to ask ourselves. Not in a critical way, but as an act of radical self-definition.
This is the shift I wish I could tell my younger self. I’ve realised there are two types of identity, each with a different purpose. First, there’s your external identity; the forward-facing label or ‘personal brand’ you show to the world. But second, and perhaps more importantly, there’s your internal identity. This is the aspirational version of yourself that exists in your own mind, the story you tell yourself about who you’re becoming. And this story has transformative, creative power.
The breakthrough for me was separating these two types of identity. On the day I committed to creating YouTube videos, I didn’t have to announce to the world externally, “I’m a YouTuber! Look at me!” But I could claim the identity quietly, internally, without resistance or self-judgement. Internal ownership comes first, and then the public, external identity naturally follows.
And reflecting on the impact this had on my life, I realised an uncomfortable truth: my insecurity about stepping into a new internal identity actually made me add less value to the world. I was adding so much emotional friction to the process of creating, constantly wrestling with this internal voice saying, “Oh, but I’m not really a YouTuber.”
It was as though I was fully smashing the gas pedal while also slamming down the brakes. At war with myself, and emotionally exhausted by it. All that friction wasted so much energy; energy I could have instead poured into creating more or better videos.
By radically letting go of both, and instead just gently tapping the accelerator, everything became so much more efficient and joyful. Less stress. Less struggle. More ease. When you’re not constantly battling yourself about whether you deserve to be doing the thing you’re doing, you can actually just do it.
So… who do you think you are?
I hope you’ll answer that question boldly, unapologetically, and with radical self-honesty. Because on the other side of that answer is less friction, more flow, and the freedom to create the value you’re truly capable of bringing to the world. 💛
Lots of Love,
Izzy xx
✍️ This week’s journalling prompts:
🌟 What identity have you been waiting for “permission” to claim? What if you gave yourself that permission right now, internally, without needing any external validation?
🌟 In what ways might your hesitation to own an identity be holding you back from adding more value to the world or showing up more fully in your life?
🌟 What judgement are you afraid others will make if you claim a new identity? Is this judgement real, or are you projecting your own insecurities?
I’d love to hear your reflections on identity, self-doubt, or moments when you finally claimed something you’d been holding back from. Please feel free to share your thoughts down below! 🫶
📣 Exciting announcements:
🤗 MOMENTUM APP UPDATES: In the spirit of owning my software co-founder identity, I’d love to share some updates about our latest app, Momentum. I’ve been using it get locked in with building consistent habits like meditating and journalling, and sharing progress with friends in the built-in accountability squads helps massively with staying motivated to actually show up for our goals every day.
Hermoso lo que escribe, en un momento donde aparecen preguntas y lo global y los cambios te cuestionan. También no soy de externalizar las actividades, por lo pronto estoy construyendo algo interno, de aprendizaje, de identificación... luego ya veremos. Felicitaciones por vuestra labor, seguí delante.